Years of heavy drinking had taken their toll on my soul. A few scars here and there appeared on my body, but it was the scars no one could see that brought me to my knees. I pleaded, “God, please help me, I can’t do this anymore!” The next statement revealed the crux of my dilemma, “But I can’t not do it either.” With this admission, although I did not realize it then, I started on the road home. I define home as being comfortable in my own skin.
I had quit drinking many times before, but I sensed, this time was different. I wasn’t doing it alone. Angels were surrounding me, putting me in situations, places and sometimes the words in my mouth. Without these angels, I know I would have been dead long ago. Being sober and now willing to listen to answers to my recent prayer request, they allowed me to see with an inner vision.
It was not, however, an inner vision that appeared to me after 30-days without alcohol. It was a handsome man that swept me off my feet, literally. He invited me to dance to a waltz that asked, “Could I have this dance for the rest of my life? Would you be my partner every night? When we’re together, it feels so right. Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?” While we were dancing, he was singing the words to me as if he had written them himself. Dipping me backward at the end of the song was just the icing on this handsome cake. I was smitten.
It was a Saturday night and on the following Tuesday, we got married. My family thought I had lost my mind, but what would your answer have been to this proposal? “If you think enough of a woman to want to sleep with her, you ought to think enough of her to want to marry her; and I want to marry you.” I accepted his proposal and we abstained until Tuesday. The following eight years of marriage were not without their challenges, but if two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.
Eight months after our eighth anniversary, as he lay dying on the settee in our living room, I felt those very same angels holding me close, as I watched him valiantly fight this evil disease that was taking away his strength. With his last few breaths, he thanked me for the dance as our waltz played softly in the background.
Months after his death, I had the film developed featuring gifts he had received while ill. Images of his withered body got captured within the frame. Cancer had reduced this once virile man to a mere shell. Mercifully, I had been unable to see the extreme physical change in the man who had waltzed into my life. Loving eyes are blinded by the heart.
I am still sober
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Barbara Duncan Mathies 
Wow. The title paired with the date on which it was posted caused me to stop and read. January 18 was my dad’s birth date and he, too, was suddenly sober with God’s help.
I wasn’t expecting your story to take such a sad turn. Bless your heart. And well done!
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Posted by Julie | June 21, 2016, 2:28 PMSometimes you never know what’s going to happen when you go with your gut instinct. I never would have met my husband if I hadn’t gone back to a job that I really didn’t like, but there was something pushing me to go back. Then as I went through orientation again, I found out why. My soon-to-be husband sat at the other end of the table cracking people up and quickly making friends. There was a physical part to the job that we had to train for and we got paired up. The first time he took my hand to show me one of the holds, I knew he was going to be my husband. We started dating 6 months later and were married 6 months after that. My friends and family thought I was crazy, but I went with my gut and haven’t regretted it since. We’ve had our ups and downs and come through them all. We’ll be celebrating our lucky number 13th anniversary in January and I am glad to have him by my side. It seems you were meant to meet and take that leap with your husband. I hope you continue to stay sober and to go with your gut. Cherish all those moments you continue to create.
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Posted by jpeters6248 | June 17, 2016, 4:02 PMThank you so much for sharing your beautiful story. It really touched my heart. God Bless You.
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Posted by Debra Layne Dowl | May 23, 2016, 1:33 PMOh my! What a beautiful, inspiring story! Thank you for sharing this and may God continue to hold you up in your soberness and grieve with His Angels.
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Posted by Mary | May 23, 2016, 12:56 PMMy pleasure to share with you and thank you for your encouragement.
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 23, 2016, 2:46 PMBarb, every great writer has the ability to share their innermost feelings through the words written. You are no exception… I am proud and honored to call you my class mate and dearest friend….
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Posted by Kenny & Laurie Zumwalt | May 23, 2016, 10:18 AMThank you both for your kind words. I enjoy writing and in the process, spend a lot of time thinking how to express my truths in a way that, a very personal story, can be relatable to many
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 23, 2016, 12:17 PMBarb,,,this was beautiful and so from the heart…Praise God for your work on being sober and the loving story of your loss..God Bless you…My daughter Amy has written a romance novel series “Starving Faithful”…is the first and can find it on amazon and others and the 2nd is almost done..I am so proud of her
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Posted by Diana Cox | May 22, 2016, 7:00 PMI know she appreciates your pride of her and your support. Thanks for your kind words on my story. If you care to come back to my site and “Follow” it, you will receive an email only when I post new stories. There are 6 on here now, including the one you have already read. I miss seeing you!
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:48 PMAwesome heartfelt story of some of your darkest days. I’m so proud of you!!
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Posted by Dell DeMond | May 22, 2016, 4:39 PMI am enjoying reading these stories, love the way you put your soul into each
and every line. Keep up the great work, loving it!!!
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Posted by Cathy Zupan | May 22, 2016, 11:22 AMI am so pleased that you are enjoying the reading! I truly do put my heart and soul into my writing. I mull over phrasing and word choice. I used to be a writer for the local weekly paper of where I live now. I got paid $15 a story, no matter how long or short ($5 more with a picture! LOL). I would spend hours honing these stories, getting every sentence to bring together the theme and substance I wanted to convey. When they were published, the editor had hacked them so badly I would literally cry.
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:45 AMBeautiful story! You tell it so well. You really touched my heart!
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Posted by Angie McDonald | May 22, 2016, 1:05 PMThanks Angie. I haven’t heard from you in a while. I appreciate your time in reading part of my life’s story.
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 2:57 PMOh Barb…such a heartfelt, truthful, beautiful story ♥ You’re an amazing woman and friend…love you sister ♥
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Posted by Barb Feldman | May 22, 2016, 10:56 AMMost of the stories here are of a more serious nature. If I write about our adventures, there would be a lot more humor!
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:34 AMWhat a beautiful and amazing story. Thank you my friend for sharing.
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Posted by Cleta | May 22, 2016, 9:45 AMI have thought about writing my memories of “our story”, but so far it has not materialized. If I do write it, I’ll get your approval before I post it here.
Thank you for your friendship.
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:30 AMWow! How beautiful and powerful.
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Posted by Betty | May 22, 2016, 9:42 AMI am glad you read my story and approved my words! People come in and out of ours lives; I am glad you are in mine now. Thank you.
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:28 AMWow! What a beautiful, powerful story ~ and so wonderfully written! I’m proud to call you my friend!
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Posted by Melody Saylor | May 22, 2016, 7:11 AMMy friend Melody! Thank you so much
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:25 AMYou’re words were beautiful. Love you
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Posted by Leana | May 22, 2016, 4:55 AMThank you, Leana. I also appreciate the ‘share’. It’s said that “What comes from the heart, reaches the heart.”
Enjoy your trip to Southern Indiana – I will be with you all in spirit!
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Posted by Barbara Duncan Mathies | May 22, 2016, 11:23 AM